friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
friend: OH MAN
OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
Saw Regina Spektor and Tom Petty last weekend and now School Boy Humor and EKG are playing riverfest. Not a bad month for music in Arkansas!
It’s my last night house/dog sitting. Thank God! I miss my bed and my dogs. And mainly my mother cooking for me.
After she had her children, Ginny visited...
When she looked into it, she found herself holding her children’s birth certificates, and all of their names weren’t shitty
These dogs I’m sitting are annoying the crap out of me. Ugh I have one more day here and then I finally get to go home.
takeoffyourpantsandjagket: have you ever just been sitting next to one of your guy friends and thought holy fuck he has a penis
i automatically assume everyone dislikes me unless every individual states otherwise which means you have to tell me yourself that you actually enjoy my presence in order for me to believe that you don’t dislike me how difficult is it to understand that
I just choked on my own spit how’s your morning?
When a teacher tells you that your work isn't good...
omgtoohilarious: YOU DO IT THEN! Omgtoohilarious!
have you ever sat in class and listened to the conversations around you and realized that you are the smartest person in the room
The awkward moment when
your younger cousin posts “if your age is on the clock you’re too young for the cock” and all you can think is you’re too young to be saying cock.